You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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