I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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