Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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