rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
4 words: hood of his car
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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