It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
