Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
