Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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