Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize