i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I need water and some morals
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize