Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
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Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
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Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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