I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
