i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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