Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you never un-have a 4some
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
