The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Randomize
