I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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