**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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