i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
