You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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