I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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