um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
