It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
