What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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