NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
