He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
