Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
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I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
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you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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