I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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