Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You ruined the universe
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
