there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
