Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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