ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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