but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
