I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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