ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
