Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
it's like heaven, but drunker
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
