so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
