No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
NoShamevember. You game?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
