Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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