these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
