The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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