dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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