roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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