I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
