even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
