I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
