the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
