Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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