Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize