i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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