So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
