like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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