I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
