I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
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We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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