that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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