note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
