you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
